Everybody farts. its a fact of life, face it. even shiny pretty humans like paris hilton farts. only no one knows cuz the paparazzi can't capture a fart on camera. maybe they should invent a camera that detects farts in the future. then they can also start a fart tabloid.
you know how that old joke goes. When the american farts, he says "excuse me"; when the british farts, he says "pardon me"; and when the singaporean farts, he says "not me". its true actually.
i mean, there's just something condemningly horribly embarrassing about admitting that that helluva poison gas was produced by someone who looks like they can do a air-wick commercial. its not so bad when you fart while walking, cause there's so much people and so much movement, i guess the stink bomb diffuses quickly. unless of course, the sound comes with it, then good luck pretending it didn't come from you.
but you know what's the worse thing? when you fart in the lift. its just a small enclosed area with that ventilator fan whirling around above your heads, it doesn't help much if the lift's crowded. So when you let go, you better start looking around and put that accusatory look on your face so people'll think you're one of the many victims in that lift subjected to those biological fumes. i guess that's not the worst thing that could happen to you, cause no one could point a finger at you for sure and say "aha! its you! i knew it cause i saw your skirt swish when you farted!" No, in a crowded lift, that could never happen. Unless a skirt chaser was standing behind you and he's allergic to fart.
No i gues the worst thing that could happen is when you're alone in the lift with just another person. Now that's the embarrassment bomb. its either you or that person. and you can't pretend it didn't come from you cause that's just stupid. "geez, what'd you have for lunch, mexican food and beans?"
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