#10 waiting...

Waiting is a funny thing. Well at least I like to think of it as funny. People say it teaches patience, I think it teaches you what to do with your body instead of going rigid with shock that we still have to wait in an "instant" world. I like to watch what people do while they wait. Some hum a little tune, tap their fingers on whatever they can find (table, side of their legs, side of their cheeks...oh wait that one's just simon cowell). Some others like to stare into blank space. I like to call that spazzing/stoning. It looks like the most fun thing to do while waiting cuz you can do nothing, or you can imagine you're doing stuff i your head without actually doing it. (Now now, don't think it that way). Like drumming your fingers without actually doing that, or how to get that booger that's been bugging you all day outta your nose without looking like a neanderthal. Oh maybe that's just me. I think. Or is it? You never know what's going on in people's head while they wait. Its random. Just like the particles of air moving at high speeds and colliding into each other. Kinda like bumper cars. whoopee doo. You know what i just realised? Waiters. They're called waiters cuz they wait on you. Duh. I knew that. But they also make you wait. No, not the serving kind. The twiddling thumbs thing. Waiters make you wait. The main culprit's the chef, but waiters're the scapegoats. they're the faces we see while our stomachs grumble. If the soup of the day is late, people snap at the waiter, adding in unreasonable requests. "Why can't you stap on rollers and hurry over?! The soup's cold! What, you had to visit the Atlantic before getting to my table?" And "Stop all that smile and chatting! Start serving! I'm starving!" Sadly, waiters are paid to be polite. "Now Steven. You know what your job requires. Do whatever it takes to keep the diners' mind off the waiting. If you have to stuff 3 bread rolls into their mouth, do it." wow. what a job.
Hey Steven, what's your job right now? Oh i'm paid to make people wait without getting 'em pissed. what a job eh? So what about you John? Oh i make my living consoling people and enlightening their wallets. Get it? Con-man equals console, not con-con.
Ah, finally! my Penang famous fried noodles are here! I'm proud to say i waited this monologue out. Sadly, i havent come up with a plan for operation: Remove that booger