Ellen's into her fifth season of her talk show, and she's done all sorts of things to pass the time. Dancing, Kaw-ing, you name it, she's probably done it. The other day she was having the $100 000 game week, and oh boy, do i applaude her. Being a talk show host isn't exactly a bed of roses. You meet all sorts of people, the tall-short-fat-thin-chatty-clammy-smelly-jumpy-huggy-screamy type. This lady on her show won and she went hyper sceamy. Ellen's face was hilarious! "aw crap another hug! But it was nice i guess. The crew better have my wipes ready, i love my audience but i dont wanna smell like them."
Being a talkshow host sure is tough. You gotta make everyone happy and comfortable, even though you feel like someone planted a cactus on your seat. Even if your favourite pair of trousers has a split cuz you danced over the coffee table one too many times. Even if they have fish breath. You gotta offer them mints without insulting them. I know, lets replace the mallows with mints and play the mallow game. Ok, that's better. Do i still look like a member of the Blue Man Group?
You gotta hug them, scream with them, keep them talking if they look like their lips're frozen together, or stop them from talking cuz you gotta remind the audience who's the host again. Sometimes i can almost see her going on in her head "Just keep talking. just keep talking..." in the tune of Dory's motto, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." As they say, the show must go on. But i totally have no idea how that's gonna happen if an audience member has me in a bear hug so tight the death grip would be ashamed. Or if i have on thongs so tight i could taste the cotton plant. Cuz then i wouldn't be able to dance over my coffee table and the show could never go on. Before ellen, i never knew the therapeutic powers of dancing. Who knew a little jig and shimmy could be so helpful? At the end of the day, if dancing over your coffee table or flower pot helps, do it! Who cares if it increases the risk of gaining a hole in the crotch of your trousers? At least you're feeling all good and ready to go, since there's only..."30 seconds to air"
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