Just the other day the bus halted to a stop so suddenly that everyone jerked forward so hard, i think we all grew by an inch. Let me get my measuring tape... yep, just as i had suspected. Anyway, i was standing so i looked like a neanthethal learning ballet while trying to avoid crashing into the girl next to me. How embarrassing; it's going on my black list just after removing my stockings on the bus and talking to a random stranger whom i thought was my friend and calling the Ben & Jerry's cow mascot "Daisy the Queen Fairy" after having too many drinks. No, i think that could exist on a list by itself if it happened.
The thing is, the gift of pretending can come in pretty handy sometimes. Now listen, i said sometimes. I can't help you if you mischieviously smacked an old lady's bottom, mistaking her for your nanny. Although i have not the slightest idea why anybody would do that. And no, telling her you saw a mosquito is not going to help your situation either. But that aside, pretending is pretty much cool. Say you've accidentally tripped while walking on the sidewalk; you could break into a jog and pretend you're training for a marathon-on Manolo heels. Or you've been caught digging your nose; "well, i was trying to adjust my nose stud that the body-art artist pierced upside down." Or you accidentally sing out of tune during chapel; just cough, look apologetic and say "New diaphrams".
And if you knock over a screaming yellow, look-at-me, "Danger-wet floor" cone in a huge mall, and attract lots of attention, i highly suggest quickly putting the poor cone upright again and pretend you're auditioning for a broadway show as the leading old lady. Cuz telling them you were watching ellen on a certain person's ipod isn't exactly helpful-even if it's the truth. *ahem, you know who you are*
I guess my pretending to be Billy Elliot on the bus the other day wasn't that helpful after all; considering the commuters' cross expressions and myraid of bandages on their toes when i alighted. oops
No comments:
Post a Comment